Monday Meditation – Friday

I saw a bumper sticker years ago that said, “I do yoga for savasana”   It struck me as funny because it is mostly true, for me anyway.  I step onto my mat for my body and about halfway through practice I am ready to lay down and meditate. It seems that Friday, for most is that savasana we can’t wait to get to.  It is the end of a workweek and a the beginning of a weekend filled with promise.  By Wednesday, now termed “hump day” those of us starting work on Monday are already rushing to Friday.  During the weekend there is time to rest and relax, spend time with family, go to parties or have one for friends.  Time to sleep in or time to catch up on the chores we let slip during our busy week.  So we begin many Monday’s just looking forward to Friday.  Sometimes when there are longer term goals in mind even the weekend is difficult to rest in.  My savasana is sometimes restless with anticipation of what is to come.

My work week is no longer Monday through Friday but I still hold some of the old habits of rushing through anything to get to my purposed goal.  I love that God reminds me (knowing I need constant reminding) that life’s journey is not about the middle or the end, it’s about the beginning.  When we set an intention or goal for our work, when it has purpose above collecting a paycheck, the week is full of growth and grace.  This week I am working at camp.  It’s an easy place to discover God’s work.  The beauty of the place aside, it is Holy Ground to me.  Stepping on my mat this morning I enjoyed each movement and what it could teach me.  My tightness about work that needs to be done today settles in my shoulders and jaw, I breathe and let it go.  A wonderful Gestalt phrase is “What is happening now”.   I set a new intention of momentous awareness.

In this week filled with promise I promise to look beyond each whole day to see the present.  I seek to find rest in each day even for a short time so that I need not glare into the future.  To look in instead of looking out or past.  I intend on loving and living in each moment and rely on God’s grace of reminders to live fully and appreciate instead of anticipate.

Thank you to Meg who is teaching at the Library and the studio this week.  Enjoy her practice and teaching.

May you be blessed this Monday and each day of this week.

Sue

Monday Meditation – Summer Intentions

I remember a school assignment to write a paper about “What I Did on My Summer Vacation”.  There would be a lot of excitement and anxiety about sharing this in front of the class as each student would think about what to share.  Some I think would struggle with truth telling.  As a child I knew others would have stories of grand vacations, some to other countries and some to great parks where they would camp out in tents and have amazing adventures.  At the time I would be a bit envious of these kids who had great stories to tell.

My memory banks have stashed away in an unknown space which stories I shared with my peers, but they also hold some of the best stories that grew me into who I am now.  I know that these would probably not be the tales I shared at the time but as an adult they hold the glow of fun and adventure, they are worthy of remembering.

I remember walking through a rushing creek on slippery rocks with my cousins, then catching minnows in the calmer pools of water to use for bait to fish.  For a girl whose backyard was a parking lot, this was an amazing adventure!  I had summers with family in Vermont and Connecticut where endless green hills and deep pine woods called me to explore.  I swam in an icy lake whose true depth is still a mystery.  There were battles with mosquitoes and leeches and bike rides up hills so high my legs ached for days afterward.  There were times alone in the woods that I heard a silence that completely overwhelmed me.  The beginning of summer was marked by a “sugaring off party” when Grandma pulled saved snow from the freezer, boiled the new spring maple syrup from my uncles farm and poured the golden hot sweetness over the snow.  Sisters and cousins drooled with anticipation sitting around the table with forks to roll up the candy out of long tin pans.  The bonus were the home made donuts and pickles that Grandma made to balance the mouth watering sweetness.

Summer begins this week and so I think about the intentions I have for this time.  As an adult I can choose.  So I choose to find adventure in teaching yoga, battle mosquitoes at camp, hike a few hills and look everywhere for the sweetness of relationships with family and friends.  I will spend time with grandchildren enjoying catching fireflies, looking at stars and playing chase in the grass.  I will reflect on past and present as I take in every moment.   Growth is born of our reflections and intentions.

May your summer be blessed with the adventures of the everyday.

Sue

Monday Meditation – Just That

I find at times that deep meditation is difficult for me.  There are others as well who are revved up by life or just their metabolism who find it a struggle to quiet the mind.  It begins just fine.  I breathe in and out slowly and set a mantra or focus point for return when distracted.  Then the thoughts begin.  Ideas and things to do begin dancing around as I struggle to maintain quietness of mind.  Some days it’s just a no go and I let go.  Meditation is just that.  Letting go of my grip on trying and just being.  So what if all these images and words fly into my time of supposed peace.  Like dreaming I think these things say something to me, so in the moment I resist pondering and just observe.

I return to the breath and the image of sitting on the shoreline watching.  It is here, when I release  judgement on the thoughts jumping in, truth presents itself as  guide.  Minutes dissolve as awareness becomes.  Birds chirping outside the window, the clock ticking, the cool air brushing past my arm are all in this present moment of bliss.  My awareness tunes in to God and the presence within me of Holy Spirit is filled to the top with peace, love, joy.  Perhaps it is just a moment but that is all that is needed.  Just that, a moment of being, silence, presence.

Have a blessed week of presence,

Sue

Monday Meditation – Wondering Momentous

How many times we say or have heard, “If I could only go back in time but knowing what I know now”?  It’s crossed my mind and my lips on many occasions and opens the door to wonder.   How would it look or feel to actually do that, to go back in time and not rush through life as a series of tasks?   How would it make a difference in who I am now and how would those in my family, especially my children be changed?  I remember being a child and looking into the night sky wondering how many stars there were.  It would fill me with awe and a tinge of fear.  My newly forming ego didn’t want any questions left unanswered.  Wonder would continue but for a while was overshadowed by fear.

Now this fear was not like running away from a hungry bear or any real threat of danger.  This fear was one created by the culture I lived and grew up in.  A slow creeping kind of fear that I might not measure up, I might fail was the first I am aware of.  Being a student in a school where perfection seemed required was one perception I held.  As I grew and struggled just a bit in school, the culture of consumerism also jumped on board.  My family did not have what others did and so hand-me-downs were the norm.  One new outfit a school year was exciting until I realized I couldn’t wear it every day.  I began to want things I didn’t have.  And I grew.  To college student, new nurse, wife, mother and friend, all of these mini-identities held a special ongoing competition for my attention to control and perfectionism hence creating fears of their own.

It wasn’t all bad or all fear, if it had been I would have succumbed and been lost.  All along the way there was faith.  Faith in a creator God who was good, who created good things, kept my head just above the water until I chose to dive deep.  “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child;”  1 Cor. 13:11a    As I grew, through life experiences of love, sorrow, trials and joys, a longing was bubbling up through the wondering that continued.  The wondering turned to questioning and study.  The study became filled with conversations between God and myself in prayer.  Slowly a wonderful crack in my perceptions of fear and finality let in some light to shine on the mysteries of life.

Being a Grandmother is teaching  me some new and wonderful lessons, not the least of which is to just love every moment and enjoy the mysteries.  It’s easier now to just love and not worry.  Looking into those sweet faces, so similar to my own children’s  is like looking at the stars in a mirror.  There are so many amazing possibilities for their lives.  They are beautiful and sweet, funny and loving.  There is the answer and no need to wonder.  It is Love.   Just Love.  I did a lot of that when my children were young.  There are so many memories of sweet baby kisses and sticky hands hugs that fill me with joy.   And so I would not want to go back, I don’t have to go back.  God was there all along helping us all grow.  He was loving me through sweet times of growing and some sticky situations.

I am happy for my now grown children and who they have become.  They are making their own way now and will most likely repeat some of my mistakes but that’s how they learn.  I let go of fear and swim in the beautiful night sky of wonder.  I let go of the worldly ideas of how life should be and enjoy each moment as it is.  Every life change and event is momentous and filled with wonder.  I love to wonder momentous.

He counts the number of the stars;
He calls them all by name.  Psalm 147:4